Inizio

I have recently come to the conclusion that my blog is mainly about dating.

reasons:

1. Dating is the greatest grief currently in my life

2. It applies to everyone.

3. It sucks.

Poor unfortunate soul.

Is it possible to be completely comfortable with someone upon meeting them?

Absolutely not.

Soul Mates are ridiculous.

You people are kidding yourself.

I am not a pessimist. I am a realist. Don't hate.

Will each of us find that perfect person that inspires, ignites, and responds the way that we would want them to?

I wish I knew.

Awkward moments are inevitable.

recent events:

Whoops I just touched his hand. I hope he doesn't take that as a sign I want to hold his hand.

Although I kind of want to. But I don't want to be too forward.

I think maybe I just suggested that he and I go out on a date.... again too forward?

I think i have a booger, but I keep wiping my nose and then he wipes his. Maybe he's trying to tell me something, but maybe he thinks that I am trying to tell him something. So I keep wiping.

Yes all of these things have happened to me.

Its amazing to even to me, believe me.

Shed some light on my pathetic and terribly embarrassing dating life.

Fully exposed (but fully clothed),

T.

Mr. S.

S/J

There are very few men that come into my life and stay for an extended period of time.

S/J- Congrats you are going the distance. It must not be easy, but you are extraordinary.

Maybe I repell men, well if I am wearing some form of man DEET then S/J you are the pesky bugger that keeps coming back for more. I adore you.

There are very few people who accept me the way I am. S/J does.

S/J maybe you should start composing some sort of
"How to react to T manual or something" I'm sure you would make a fortune.

I'm sorry to those that I offend ; you just don't understand me.

Deal.

S/J Is one of my best friends.

He listens, he talks, He jokes (sometimes they are extremely lame, but I appreciate them all the same. That rhymed, neat). He dances, he is compassionate, he is silly, and wild.

I enjoy our conversations about everything that is wrong in our lives. Our love of comedy, our love of making fun of other people publicly, our brutal honesty with one another, and our friendship that has turned him into something of a brother to me.

S/J is some of the things that I wish I was.

Wish list of qualities S/J has:

1. Charitable. I think of T before any one else. Just lookin out for number one.
2. Strength. I am buff I know it, but that is not what I am referring to. He has gone through so much and is still an exceptional human being.
3. The man is resilient. I am cruel to him. I mean BRUTAL, and he still loves me.
4. Accepting. he is a collecter of weirdos. He loves people who have the strangest of qualities and he attracts them like a magnet. (take T for example. I am not so normal, but I am ok with it.)
5. He is smooth. He may/may not get shot down a lot, but that doesnt stop him.

Needless to say S/ J has many qualites I wish I did.

Men may come and go, but S/J is here to stay. -- Well that is until he makes me angry again.

I can see S/J and I bickering and lauging even into our old age.

I am afraid of any man that comes into my life because he will have to get S/J's approval.

I love you S/J and you know it,

Miss T.

I like it when boys stop by for the summer.

Summer dreams, summer schemes.

Lets play word association- the word.

Summer:

Warmth

Bare feet (my love, please refer to "in Lieu of cynicism")

Pool side

Novels

Boba Tea

Summer Romances

Water

Shorts and Tank Tops

Bbq's

Excitement of Fall

Almost football season

Lemonade

Swim lessons

Vacations

Freedom

Hot Cement

Beaches

Windows rolled down

Sunglasses

Pony Tails

Sun Tans (all natural!)

Fresh Fruit

Late night star gazing

Work

Departures

K

Break ups

Make ups

School Shopping

Schedules -- or lack there of.

Music constantly playing

Parties outside.

And finally- T.

My life seems to come alive in the summer. It seems more real. I adore summer

Fall is good too though.

TANNED AND REFRESHED,

T.

Hatha

Feet at the center of the mat

Hip width apart

Hands at heart center

Eyes directed toward the ceiling

Breath in through the nose trying to extend that breath to all parts of the body

and exhale through the nose.

I find so much joy in yoga.

Plain and simple. I thought I would share.

Namaste,

T.

In Lieu of Cynicism

My last few posts have been rather cynical.
Maybe I am a closet pessimist.
To change the mood up I decided to review myself as I near the end of the semester and decided to put up self realizations; 25 of them to be exact.
1: I love bare feet; my own of course, others gross me out. I love the way pavement; grass, carpet, and tile feel under my bare feet. I love not worrying about whether shoes go with my outfit.
2: I love driving with the windows down. I love when my hair gets mussed from the wind. Sexy don’t you think?
3: I make up stories about myself when I fly on airplanes. I love telling random folks about the life I wish I had. Awful you think? No, why shouldn’t I dream out loud?
4: I abhor snow. Nothing ruins a day like waking up to fresh snow. I see no purpose for it. It is cold, wet; it stinks and causes more casualties in the world. People should not be dying because of this awful occurrence in nature.
5: I am extremely observant but, only when it comes to people. Body language intrigues me. I like it when people express exactly what they mean to say through their body language even when it does not match what is coming out their mouth. I notice a lot of things others don’t through what they are screaming with their appendages.
6: I want to learn Italian. When G and I were in Italy I fell in love. Someday I will.
7: I don’t like my height. I am tall. Must everyone point it out when they meet me?
8: My childhood dream was to be a doctor. While others were dreaming of being princesses ( yes I did hit that stage, but quickly moved on) and mothers all I wanted to be was a doctor. I loved the human body even from a young age and was pretty determined to be a doctor. I have since moved on from that dream. It’s funny how dreams fade.
9: G (my beloved mother) is one of my very best friends. I truly feel bad for any man that I do end up with because he is going to have to learn to cope with my obsessive need to ask G about everything major decision ( and not so major decisions) in my life.
10: I want all boys when I finally get around to spawning. A girl would be nice, but boys are so fun.
11: I love football. It’s not just the tight pants the players walk around in, although that is a nice little bonus. I do love the game and everything about it.
12: I think white wedding dresses are tacky.
13: I love to read! I do not like chick lit however.
14: My nephew G is the love of my life. I would take a bullet for that little boy, and would proceed to jump over the moon if he asked me.
15: I love roller coasters. The thrill gets me every time.
16: I don’t like it when people talk loudly on the phone. If I wanted to hear what they were talking about I would have inquired myself.
17: I day dream often. I think of how my life could be if I had chosen different paths.
18: There is no filter between my brain and my mouth. Whatever I am thinking just comes right out (hence the title of my blog).
19: I love pride and prejudice. I quote it often, even when nobody understands but me.
20: I am obsessive about my teeth. I brush and floss multiple times a day.
21: I love yoga. I am a dedicated yogi and proud of it.
22: Popcorn is my favorite food.
23: I do not like receiving flowers. I think they are over-priced and useless. Any gentleman who has given me flowers has been written off. I take it as frivolous and thoughtless; quite contrary to popular belief of society.
24: I am lactose in tolerant. It does suck, please don’t ask.
25: I dearly love to laugh.
Please forgive me for two posts in one day I had to compensate for the negativity,

T.

Abandon Ship!

I cannot help it…

It’s my instinct, my inner desire, my first reaction.

In the words of Tom Cruise in one of my favorite movies “She’s Lost that lovin’ feelin” – Actually I never had it to begin with, but point proven I think.

I have a 3 week limit. I give a guy 3 weeks and then I am out.
Things seem to be going great. Even to me. Then I flip.

Confession #1: commitment scares me.

Confession #2: Love scares me even more.

Confession #3: I am a private person. Surprised? Yes I will tell you anything you want to know about my past, it doesn’t bother me. But, you want to know who I really am? Yeah that freaks me out.

Confession #4: I cannot define or prove love. No physical proof means therefore I lack a definite knowledge. (Reminds me of a certain movie that I significantly related to. Paper heart, if you haven’t seen it you need to).
These three factors drive me to the three weeks that I give.

Classic T scenario:
Week 1: Lovin’ life. I enjoy the chase. Actually I thrive on it. (I don’t play games so that is not at all what I am doing fellas). We go on our first date. We have a fantastic time.

Week 2: We hang out every day, cuddle, and maybe get a little lip action (Sorry, Mom if you are reading this). We are truly enjoying each other’s company. We find out a little bit more of each other, or a lot more about each other. I get comfortable (PROBLEM). I find the things I like about him and the things that I am less than fond of. I start to get a little bored. (Classic)

Week 3: You push to know more about me (HUGE PROBLEM). My insides are screaming at this point. Basic carnal instinct is telling me “GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT NOW!” He talks about commitment (BIG NO, NO). I find something that bugs me about him and I start to obsess. I am not talking about normal obsessing, I am talking about fixating on this one thing that bugs me about him and then I find that it affects everything that I even liked about him in the first place.

And I bail.

I have tried to fix myself, and on five separate occasions it has worked.

K: K was my first love (my only faith that it actually exists). He was my highschool sweetheart and my best friend. I loved being with him and we never got tired of eachother. We lasted over a year. It hurt when it ended. K’s and my relationship could possibly the root of all my problems.

C: He played hard to get. He was never quite mine; he always belonged to someone else. Don’t worry he came around and I bailed. 2 months. He is still a very good friend and I enjoy all of our daily conversations.
K: Also never quite mine, but I loved the chase, and our relationship. It was special. We were more friends than anything else. 3 months (possibly, I don’t quite remember)

R: He fooled me. I was optimistic, and fooled myself. 3 months.

H: He intrigues me. He makes me want to be better. He is an incredibly good friend. I would trust him with my life. Nothing has ever really happened, nothing probably ever will. I enjoy him for him. To be continued.

Few men have broken the barrier, but when they do. I never regret it.

I would love to love someone eventually.

When that will happen? No idea. I’ll have a good time searching for it.

Adventure is key. Love is relative.

With the deepest meaning of love you can imagine (whatever that means),
T.

Another Year Gone By

Birthday wishes to myself:
Way to go T for making it another year, and not completely screwing up your life. This year has been a success I believe.
Lets roll through the higlights, and the lows.
Summer:
Sweet job, amazing tan lines, good stories, creating friendships and relationships that will never end.

Fall:
Freshmen year of college, Sweet friends, new guy pool that I dipped my feet into slightly, no success, first experience living with girls (unusally successful given my past with the female kind)

Winter:
Sweet job, lived at home with my parents (well partly, they were always gone so I had the whole house to my self most of the time) Full size bed again what a relief, Colts lost in the super bowl (probably the low light of my year) moved back to Rexburg, Break-up, new roomates (again successful), and freezed my butt off ( probably my least favorite part).

Spring:
Still freezing, New classes, more men, dissappointment, lots of library time, lots of dance parites.

Summer:
No heat, still studying, lots of dates (no success, where have all the good men gone?) Waiting for the rest of the summer

Goals for the 19th year:
Job
School
Party on.
Love always from a older much wiser
T

Blue Jean Baby

I would trade my soul for a good pair of jeans. Well not completely, but throw in a pair of Jimmy Choo's and we may have a deal.

I have a superficial passion for jeans. It truly is a curse.
Before thinking that I’m completely materialistic please allow me to explain my reasoning:

1: I love the look. There is something so rad about a sweet pair of sunglasses, a white v-neck, a pair of sneaks, and a pair of jeans. Admit it. You love it too.
2: I love the process of buying jeans, looking at them on the tables, grabbing as many pair as I would like and trying them all on, comparing contrasting, swiping the card at the point of payment, pulling off the tags, and then wearing them for the first time.
3: I love the way my butt looks. ConceitedI know. When I put on a good pair of jeans that hugs my rump just so, it’s so magical its cliché. It’s great pulling on a pair of tight skinny legged jeans, turning around and checking myself out, and I do it every time.
4: I love spending the money on a good pair of jeans. For me, buying a new pair of jeans is the perfect self-prescribed method of retail therapy. It is a false belief that you can find a pair of jeans for $50 that has the same fit as a $150 pair of jeans. I’ve tried. My personal theory is that the more expensive the pair of jeans the better the fit. It’s a tested theory and I suggest you adapt it into your own life. However, if you don’t own a pair of jeans that are quite this costly or wish to spend this much, do yourself a favor and do not try them on, you will never feel the same.
I still remember the first of many overpriced jeans that I bought. I was standing in my best friend K’s bathroom and she handed me a pair of dark wash True Religion skinny jeans with a painted blue “U” on the pocket. Price on the tag, $256 a ridiculous amount for jeans. I slipped them on and the price didn’t seem so absurd for perfection. There isn’t much justification for a pair of jeans that cost that much, but you better believe that if there was some sort of excuse that I could make I made it, and continue to make them.
5: I love the versatility. Jeans are never a bad choice. Dress them up or down, it really doesn’t matter. There really is no wrong doing in wearing a pair of jeans to any occasion besides the obvious (I would hope that you when the appropriate events for jeans are).
6: I love the memories that I make in the jeans. Have you noticed that just about everything worth having a memory about happens while you are wearing jeans? I certainly have. There isn’t quite anything like seeing a pair of jeans on the floor when I wake up in the morning after a crazy night, and all the emotions and excitement rush back when I put them on and seeing the evidence close up.
7: I love helping others find love in a pair of jeans. I have helped many people find their perfect match in a pair. Helping someone else find jeans that make them look fantastic is a true joy.
I realize that to those who are naïve to the power that a good pair of jeans can have over one such as me this post seems completely pointless and honestly it is.
My purpose is to merely express my love and appreciation for this completely absurd and temporal item. All too often I go without noticing the “little” things that make good days better, like slipping on a pair of jeans in the morning.


Always enabling procrastination for myself and others,
T.

Media overload

I know it hasn't been that long since I have posted something, but i cannot resist. Surely this is a start to a posting frenzy.

Until tonight I was a 3D virgin. I know amazing right? Yes even astonishing to me that I have been able to divert this growing trend in the movie theaters, but alas I have. I was doing my best to avoid this trend, but I was convinced.
I was so entertained by an animated wide mouthed dragon flying straight into my face, and I was truly converted. I do not think that I will feel quite the same about a "normal" movie again. How could anything be entertaining without the effects of 3D?
I am astonished at what the brains in media are coming up with. I have so much more respect for the "Sheldon" (I hope you understand this reference. If not see THE BIG BANG THEORY) like men and woman that my mother puts up and patronizes daily. To those men and women I applaud you; you have done sometihng wonderful.

In other categories of media I am currently reaing STIFF; a stomach turning non- fiction novel on the afterlife of the human body. Disgusting? Yes. Wildly Fascinating? Yes. Disturbing? Yes. Too much to handle? NO! It'll make you laugh (seriously). It'll make you cry. It may even make you regurgitate, but do not fret the humor makes up for it. Mary Roach is brilliant. I couldn't put her masterpiece down. Actually I could, and I did; it is finals week after all. But irresistable. A must read, as said by T. If anyone has any suggestions for a new read, I am in want. Please do not refrain.

love,
T

back in the BURG!

I'm sad my VAST career ended... I had the most amazing group of 11-12 year old girls and one boy ever! they were spunky, and we had the greatest conversations ever with E. LIKE:

T: "WOW, my life is pathetic. You girls are 12 and have more of a social life than I do."

E: " Maybe if you were less agressive then you would have more friends."

ME: "thanks E."

AND.......

G (assistant coach and E's mom): "This head wrap is for when you have really bad hair days."

E: " MOM, T doesn't have bad hair days."

T: " E of course I have bad hair days!"

E: "No T, You always look good."

OHHH SOOO GOOD! I miss them. I am just really glad that I got to be a part of their training and success.

BUT now im back in the burg and its wonderful!

I get to spend lots of time with friends, and roomates.

Love,
T.